Now before anyone starts, do not get me wrong I am incredibly grateful to be a mother. I have never wanted anything more and feel blessed for every slight imperfection I have due to pregnancy I just wanted to document just how much things have changed for me since becoming a mom....
Weight....
I wasn't skinny before I had kids but I would describe myself as slim. I never went above 10 and half stone or above a size 12, I know this isn't slim to some people but quite frankly I don't concern myself with people like that. I had a flat stomach, a decent chest and a booty. Which I have always loved having. I moaned constantly about my weight which would fluctuate anything between 9 stone and 10 and a half. At my booking for Jacob I weighed 10 stone 8lb, and after having Hope I weighed an almighty 14 stone. So what happened? Pregnancy happened and that age old, well I'm pregnant, I want it so its fine. Actually its not fine. I never realised but your body only needs an extra 500 calories above the recommended daily allowance for a woman. That's depressing, don't get me wrong if you're chucking your guts up left right and centre and the only thing you can face is a jam doughnut, then I say go for it, but were all guilty of having a little extra when were expecting. Now you have some women who hardly gain a pound when pregnant and these are no shockers when they come trotting into the playground in their size 8s with a day old baby, then you have the absolute freaks of nature, the jammy gits who gain a shed load of weight during pregnancy, you have personally seen them consume the entire McDonald's menu, but as soon as that baby is out about a month after there is no visible evidence they were ever pregnant! And then there is me. I gain weight so easily. Especially when pregnant and my goodness does it take some work to get it off! After Jacob I lost a bit of it and then put it all (and then some) back on, saying no point as I'm going to have more kids... After Eli I lost a lot of weight then used the age old excuse "more babies", air quotes all over that one. Then there was Hope, in every sense of the word. She made a lot of decisions easy for me. One, that I was not going to have anymore children and two, I cannot remain this heavy. So once I had her and I had had all the relevant checks and all clears I decided it was time for a change. I am 30 in march and I wanted desperately to get back to my "pre kids weight" I also had a mini goal of getting at least 2 stone off to get into a dress I want to wear to a party in November. So I trotted off and joined weight watchers when Hope was about 11 weeks old and got my gym membership back up and running. Through sheer determination I am already close to that 2 stone mark and the dress not only fits but is big in places. Something is different this time. It's like a switch has flipped.
Stretchmarks
Beauties aren't they? Now if you're one of those lucky one that don't have any then I really don't wanna hear it! All joking aside stretchmarks have never bothered me, I had them before my kids so I gained a few extras when pregnant, they remind me daily what I have done and that I'm a mother to 3 gorgeous kids. I do know though that stretchmarks can really affect a woman's confidence, and no matter how I personally feel about them of never insult a woman who had issues with them by telling her she's being silly. We ALL have our hang ups.
Hair &Skin
I am lucky in the skin department, never really suffered with spots, get the odd belter deserving of its own post code but not regular spots. I do however have eczema and it is always worse during and just after pregnancy. The main thing being just how sore it gets. I get cracked and even bleeding palms and my scalp is often affected too. My Hair is thick and long naturally, and during pregnancy like most women I retain it and it is often thick and lustrous. After pregnancy is another case entirely. After Eli was born when he hit about 16 weeks my hair began to fall out, to the point where it halved in thickness, I'd get terrible knotty lugs and it was a nightmare to brush. It grew back leaving me with lots.of short hair which has grown a lot since. Now since having Hope, guess what? Bang on 16 weeks and it started again. I'm going through the same process now as back then except my hair is much longer this time.... Nightmare hair.
Time
What is that you say? Yes you are right. We don't have it anymore, but I don't want it, just another chance to get bored and I can safely say I am never bored anymore!
Feelings
I suffered post natal reactive depression after Jacob which I think was totally understandable but after Eli and Hope I have been left with an elated sense of achievement. I can look upon it all now, even the times with Jacob and feel so happy about everything that has happened. I'm mega proud of my family. Another type of feeling is the feeling sexy part, let's be honest girls, we all feel a bit rubbish sometimes, and I am no exception. I don't feel attractive a lot of the time and I think if it weren't for Ant constantly reassuring me, I wouldn't be feeling as good as I do. Speaking to friends about how their partners have made them feel about their bodies since they've had kids makes me realise how lucky I am to have a husband who loves me no matter what, and that's his most attractive quality. How ability to bring out the best in people.
Amongst all this there is the lack of sleep, the aches and pains from pregnancy injuries, lack of time for, well anything, and much much more. But you know what I still stand by my statement, we get far more from kids than they ever get from us. How ever soul destroying you look in those leggings, or whether your face looks like a dot to dot or you're so tired you feel like saying sod it and pulling the covers back over your head, just take a look at that face or faces as my case is, and none of it matters. At that moment you couldn't care less. That's unconditional love in its purest form, and if I could bottle and sell it, I'd be a billionaire....
Much Love
H xxx
P.S What post pregnancy hang ups do you have?
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